Caesar's Consanguinity
by Arina and Saku
Summary: 4 girls. 1 murder. Tomoyo, Meiling, Sakura, and Chiharu have been framed. So now the government is after them and a murderer is loose; what are 4 sophomore amateur sleuths to do? Don't forget to review!
1. Just the Beginning

**A/N : **Hello everyone! I'm extremely sorry for this note, but I'll try to refrain from anymore of these from now on! Anyway, all I wanted to say was that this beginning may seem dull, but that's because I want everyone to understand how OOC every CCS character will be from this point on. Especially Sakura. You'll notice she won't seem very "nice." Let me take this time to point out that she really cares for her friends, but she has a slightly sarcastic touch to her "new" personality. Oh, and this won't really be _too_ romantic, just to warn all you romantics! It's just warm and fuzzy fluff because this story mainly focuses on mystery. Now, if you're still interested...Have fun reading! (:

**Disclaimer : **Neither Arina nor Saku owns CCS or any of the characters!**

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**Caesar's Consanguinity**

By Arina and Saku

**Just the Beginning**

9:27 PM Tomoyo's House

Tomoyo sighed.

She stood in the doorway to her room, looking around at the mess. Clothing lay strewn about the floor. Her bed sheets had fallen off her bed and were in a pile on her floor, while her pillows had somehow ended up under the bed. The dresser drawers were open, and a sock was hanging over the edge of one. The vanity desk had the usual clutter on it; little souvenirs from Las Vegas, the beach, and even Chinatown, along with a few bracelets and necklaces. A cup and plate sat on her desk, next to her recently crashed computer; it'd somehow started smoking the day before, and Tomoyo socked it in an effort to keep it from exploding. Luckily, it hadn't; but it did freeze up, and the data in it was lost: including her AP bio homework, but more importantly, her pictures of Eriol.

Remembering him, Tomoyo sighed again, walked over to her bed, and plopped down. She roughly grabbed her mp3 player and stuck the earphones into her ear to try and keep herself from thinking. Of course, it was futile, and Tomoyo's mind wandered back to her long-distance boyfriend. He'd moved over half a year ago, and Tomoyo missed him terribly. Sure he came over once in a while, but it just wasn't the same. She missed his adorable smile; his shaggy emo hair; his skinny, skinny jeans that would've made even Sakura's butt look big; his 'girl shoes' (as Chiharu called them), his… everything. Her eyes began to get a little moist; tears? No. They were just a little wet. And spilling onto her cheeks. Was she crying? Of course not! She was just trying to get the moisture out of her eyes.

After a few minutes (hours?), Tomoyo felt herself yawn. Eriol, Eriol, Eriol… She couldn't bear having him away, and yet, he really wasn't, was he? He was constantly in her mind. How she missed him! More and more water escaped her eyes as she thought back on her time with him, little as it was before he was pulled away from her. But as time passed, her heart slowed; her shimmering Persian indigo eyes stayed closed longer and longer, until finally they stopped opening completely.

A single beam of moonlight fell across her peaceful face, and, even with the dried tears on her cheeks, she was beautiful. Her charcoal hair that partially curled outwards at her chin framed her delicate face and the rest, curling inward, rested on her shoulders or her pillow. She lay uncovered, as her sheets were still on the floor, and her body was sprawled on the bed, one of her arms slightly hanging off. The black ring hugging her left thumb was snug, and kept it from falling off. Her mp3 had been on the entire time; now, the screen flashed as the battery became low. At length, the light from the mp3 faded, and the only light left trickled in through the window.

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9:27 PM Meiling's Mansion

Meiling hopped out of her bathroom, which, in contrast to her mansion, was tiny. No, she was not Cinderella, but she just didn't need a huge bathroom. And maybe her bathroom wasn't that tiny — it just had a mountain of laundry that had yet to be washed.

Feeling refreshed from her shower, Meiling gave herself a once-over in the mirror and combed her layered arsenic hair that oddly curled outwards. Still, it looked nice, on her, at least. She flexed a couple times, and smirked at her own muscle and cackled a bit. Afterwards, she examined her curves and was satisfied. On the other hand, she put her hand on her stomach, and, like every other girl, thought about how fat she thought she was. Meiling rubbed it a bit, and then sighed before screaming, "I'm pregnant!" to no one in particular. Squinting at herself in the mirror again, she noticed her shortness and wrinkled her nose in frustration. Her full lips drew themselves into a pout before Meiling began laughing and not caring again. She hummed to herself as she turned away from the mirror and tried to jump onto her large, fluffy bed. Tried, you ask? Yes, tried. As it turns out, a huge yellow hippo was blocking the way, and Meiling tripped over it. She felt embarrassed, even with no one around to see her. So, in her idiocy, she began to wrestle it, just as she had with Sakura and Chiharu once before. She laughed at the memories, and threw it against the wall before climbing into bed.

Meiling turned on her Mac; she couldn't wait for school tomorrow. Her weekend had been far from fun, and she was looking forward to seeing her friends again, and maybe sleeping in class. She turned up the music, and opened AIM. However, after some contemplation, Meiling decided not to log on. She didn't particularly feel like typing away at her keyboard all night, and instead just surfed the web a bit. She checked her horoscope, found nothing too interesting, and closed iTunes. She turned off her Mac, bored, and crawled into bed.

Meiling didn't have much on her mind, really, (she never does) and slept easily that night.

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9:27 PM Sakura's Home

_Tick tock, tick tock._

The clock resounded in the silence of the room as Sakura stared at her computer screen as if her life depended on it; well, it did.

No, not really, no matter how much she felt like it did. She'd been on for the past hour, supposedly researching for her physics paper. In truth, she hadn't done shit. Sakura had been enjoying herself, reading her friend's mystery story. She paused, momentarily, to glance at the noisy clock, and realized that it was almost 9:30.

_Damn,_ she thought. _I should be doing my homework._

_Oh well, one more chapter couldn't hurt._

Sakura smiled her enchanting smile to herself, and turned her attention back to her computer. It only took a few minutes for her to read the next chapter, but it happened to be a cliffhanger.

_I hate cliffhangers,_ she whined to herself. _That one didn't count! I have to find out what happens. One more!_

Sakura became immersed in the story once more, and before long, an hour had passed and she still had not found a single piece of information for her essay. She turned her chair so that she was facing the door of her room, and stared at it guiltily. She thought of her parents in a room on the opposite side of the house, probably watching television, and wondered how angry they would be if they knew she had been 'wasting' time. _They'll never know,_ she consoled herself, _and I wasn't wasting time… It was put to good use!_

Satisfied with herself, she slid off her chair and went over to her bed. She looked at her small circular mirror and examined her face. Her slightly bloodshot but light chartreuse eyes moved slowly as she looked at her ochre and gamboge hair and her long eyebrows. She smiled that enchanting smile again, and turned her head to see her earrings. She removed them carefully and placed them on the desk next to her bed. She then took off her clothes to change into her pajamas, but not without criticizing her body first. Like Meiling, she felt her supposed fat, but in reality, her curves were developed well. She didn't know, but a number of boys at school had been looking at her. Making a face, she quickly pulled on her pajamas so that she wouldn't have to see her body any more.

Afterwards, Sakura began a long process of putting on an assortment of creams that didn't seem to work. Anyone would've told Sakura that her skin was beautiful and that she didn't need any creams whatsoever, but of course, she never believed them. She put the lids back onto the jars and screwed the caps onto the tubes and crawled into bed. It was too hot for her to use her sheets, and so she just lay on top of them. _I'm pretty screwed tomorrow, _she thought when her mind went back to her essay. _Oh well._

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9:27 PM Chiharu's Apartment

Chiharu lay on her bed, deep in thought. Her room was strangely clean; it looked as if no one lived in it. In fact, no one had lived in it until about a day ago. It was apparent that Chiharu had just moved into the apartment, as boxes of clothing, books, and miscellaneous items were still stacked on one another, unopened. One particular box was open, however. This one was very small, and contained only two items: an opened envelope, and another sealed one. The sealed envelope had no date or return address, but Chiharu knew what was in it. It held a considerable sum of money, given to Chiharu two days ago. The letter belonging to the other envelope sat on the small bed, next to Chiharu's body. It was a neat sheet of paper, typed, very official. A seal and signature were on the bottom of the letter – not that Chiharu cared.

Chiharu had finally decided to move into an apartment. She just couldn't bear to live in the house anymore; her foster parents were just too… unbearable.

Chiharu's entire family had long since been deceased; she hadn't known any of her family members, but she did know that none of them were alive. That was how she ended up with Mr. and Mrs. Tama. The couple was there when Chiharu was born and had offered to take her in.

Chiharu had talked out moving only two months ago with her two guardians, and after some thought, Mr. and Mrs. Tama had finally agreed to let Chiharu move out on her own. Granted, the apartment was only located a few streets away from the house. Still, they'd agreed, and given her some money to start her off as well.

Chiharu smiled slightly, thinking back on how all that hard work persuading her foster parents had finally paid off. Then, her mind returned to the present. She looked around the place that was now her own. She now lived on the third story of a nice apartment in a respectable part of town, within walking distance of the high school. It'd be nice exercise— something Chiharu obviously didn't need. She was thinner than most of her friends, but still managed a shapely, athletic figure. Her braided pigtailed hair was two inches longer than shoulder-length and coiled a bit inwards one inch below her shoulder. Silky side-swept bangs naturally flared outwards, framing her soft facial shape. The shorter locks of her bangs couldn't flare beside her chin and so made do around her darkened raw umber irises.

_Back to the street where we began…_

Chiharu jumped a little, before realizing that her cell phone had just gone off. She fished the phone out of her pocket, looked at the caller's ID, and, seeing the name, threw the phone onto her bed in disgust. Turning away, she set her mind to the task at hand: setting up her new home.

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9:32 PM

The streets outside were dark. The streetlights provided minimal lighting, creating small areas of cold light that pierced through the night. The wind blew menacingly, foreshadowing events to come.

A shadow moved, and a figure could be seen approaching, had anyone been watching. The figure, covered by the darkness, crept over to a tall, black gate, guarding a mansion. The figure lifted something, and inside could be seen a number pad, presumably for a person to type in a code. Fingers pressed a number of digits, and the gate silently slid open.

Quietly, the figure glided into the courtyard, past the flowers whose bright colors were shrouded by the dark. After a few minutes, the figure reached the stone steps of the building, and slowly moved up them. A leaf fell from a nearby tree, and the sound it made as it hit the ground was the loudest thing to be heard.

The figure had reached the door, and its hand could be seen reaching into a pocket of its coat. The hand was holding a key when it was visible again, and it inserted it into the doorknob. The lock opened with a soft click, and the figure pushed the door open carefully.

Stealthily, the figure moved over to the stairs, seeming careful not to touch anything. Up the stairs it went, and then down a hallway. It turned into the third door, and seemed to disappear.

Outside, the wind howled.


	2. Asininely Framed

Enjoy, **twinkle951**! (:

**Disclaimer : **Neither Arina nor Saku owns CCS or any of the characters!

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Caesar's Consanguinity

By Arina and Saku

**Asininely Framed**

11:04 AM Homeroom

Tomoyo arrived at her homeroom, and least favorite class: English. She sat down in her seat, tired and somewhat bleary-eyed. She couldn't remember what time she'd fallen asleep yesterday, and she'd cursed this morning when she realized she'd left her mp3 on all night, yet again. _I really have to stop doing this,_ she thought to herself. But before she could think anymore, Sakura walked in, panting.

"Sakura!" Tomoyo greeted, as Sakura sat down on her left.

"Tomoyo," Sakura smiled sweetly, before beginning to curse. "Holy crap, I had to run here. My third period was J building and my stupid teacher kept us in class since we were being idiots. Damn it," she muttered.

Tomoyo laughed; Sakura had a way of making everything better and carefree. Her laughter was contagious and somehow, she always had something fun to say.

Tomoyo was just about to reply when Chiharu walked in, looking nervous. When she spotted Tomoyo and Sakura, she started smiling, looking relieved.

"I thought I was going to be late," she breathed, sitting down just as the bell rang.

The teacher was still doing some paper work, and was trying to stall a bit longer. Just as she stood up, the door opened, and Meiling came in with a wet head of hair.

"I'm sorry I'm late!" Meiling gasped, looking around at her classmates and finally meeting the teacher's gaze, who glared at her. Meiling scurried to her seat as the teacher yelled at her, "If you're late one more time, you're getting detention!"

"I thought I had three chances, Ms. Bitch," Meiling mumbled to herself and the other three.

"Looks like _someone's_ PMSing," Sakura whispered, making Tomoyo and Chiharu giggle. Unfortunately, the teacher heard this, and gave the three another one of her death glares. However, she was feeling generous that day, and didn't say anything. Instead, she turned to the rest of the class with a solemn look on her face.

"Class, I'm about to tell you some very sad news." The entire class looked bored. "Last night, a very important man died in his sleep. Mr. Ken Gates." The teacher looked somewhat aloof as she said his name; everyone knew about her little infatuation with the rich president of the famous Coo Corporation. Regardless, the news was very strange: the president had been a relatively young man, only about 32. A man dying in his sleep at that age was quite an unusual occurrence and muttering began all around the room.

"Quiet!" the teacher yelled, angry that her class had interrupted her. She angrily slammed her fist down on a control panel for her SmartBoard, accidentally turning it on. The board was suddenly projecting her computer screen, which had a screensaver that said 'Mrs. Cheryl Gates' with little hearts around the name. Embarrassed, the teacher rushed over to her computer and moved the mouse, revealing a news website with the headline:

KEN GATES, PRESIDENT OF COO CORPORATION

MURDERED LAST NIGHT

The class gasped in unison, and the whispering became louder, along with a loud "Did you know C.C. in Cantonese means shit?"

The speaker was Sakura, of course, but no one said anything; they were too shocked by the news they just saw. Tomoyo and Chiharu exchanged glances with one another, and Meiling grabbed Sakura's arm and said "Shut up!"

The teacher tried to calm the class down, but to no avail. Ken Gates had been a great man, generally liked. He'd been almost like a celebrity to many people, and certainly had admirers, even teenagers in high school. However, there were people who didn't particularly like Mr. Ken Gates, and he did have enemies. He'd actually crossed more people than was known to the general public: Sakura, Tomoyo, Meiling, and Chiharu being some of them.

The teacher gave up, and sat back down, sobbing hysterically. "I'll never be married now!" she cried, getting everything within a foot of her wet.

"Wasn't she already married?" someone whispered loudly.

Class ended before order could be established in the classroom as the teacher had decided to spend the rest of the class period wailing.

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12:09 PM Band Room

Lunch had just begun, and the area outside the band room was flooded with people. Sakura arrived first, sitting down while waiting for the others to meet her there. They had arranged to meet at the band room in order to discuss the situation and what had happened. Bored, she flipped her hair, and turned her head lazily in the direction of the bike rack. But before her gaze actually got there, something – or someone – caught her eye.

He had russet hair, chaotically sweeping across his forehead. He was laughing with a couple of his friends, and Sakura couldn't help but notice his cute smile. He was wearing a hoodie, along with the usual slightly baggy jeans. He also had a pair of gray Converse on, which matched the color of his hoodie. Despite his baggy clothing, Sakura knew he was hot. She'd seen him before, and the baggy clothing really wasn't that bad either. She smiled to herself before she could help herself, and then immediately felt like a retard. She couldn't believe she was still attracted to Syaoran; a whole summer had passed since she'd last seen him. Yet, he still had the same charm, and she was drawn in by it.

"So how long are you going to stare at him?" came a voice behind Sakura.

She jumped, and turned around to meet a smug Chiharu. Before Sakura could say anything to cover up what she'd been doing, the duo was joined by Tomoyo and Meiling.

"Staring again?" Tomoyo smirked. Meiling giggled a little.

Sakura blushed a little and laughed it off with her friends, but inside, she was still thinking about him. He was just so damn cute…

"Oi! Shut up! Rika and Naoko think he's hot too…" Sakura trailed off as she began staring again. The other three burst out laughing again, and Sakura knew that her argument had had no affect on them.

However, the merriment was interrupted by a stern-looking, blond, old dean who had come over. "Are you four Sakura, Tomoyo, Meiling, and Chiharu?"

The four looked at her, and then at each other. "Uh, yes," Meiling replied for them.

"Alright, come with me." With that, the dean pulled the four into the shabby little golf cart**(1)** and drove them to the office.

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12:19 PM Dean's Office

"… so we must suspend you all from school while the investigations are being conducted."

"Say what?!" Chiharu accidentally let out, standing up before she could stop herself.

"The fuck…" Sakura added under her breath. Tomoyo and Meiling just sat there, looking at each other, dumbfounded.

"I'm sorry girls, but rules are rules," the dean said, smiling. Then, without any attempt at making the four teenagers feel better, she went on, "So you four will need to report to the police station later today, no later than 4."

Chiharu plunked down onto the hard wood chair, not believing what she'd just heard. Her lip began to tremble; she didn't want to be arrested! They were going to keep them in custody and not allow them to go to school because they were suspects! They didn't even have any proof. Wasn't this against some part of the constitution? Innocent until proven guilty?

Sakura glared at the dean as soon as she wasn't looking, and gave her the finger under the desk. Twice. That dean lady seemed so happy to kick them out of school; it was ridiculous. That idiot bitch was in cahoots with the damned teacher. They _all_ were. It was obvious. Why else would all the teachers give so much homework? To give students practice? Like. Hell.

Meiling was angry, just as Sakura was, and, as soon as she noticed what Sakura was doing, joined in. She didn't care if the dean was involved in this or not; she just needed someone to take her anger out on. She wasn't some homicidal maniac, and was quite offended that the police or whoever could even consider such a thing.

Tomoyo stared blankly at the dean, and wondered how stupid the police were to suspect them. This entire situation was stupid. She knew that they had reason to be suspected, but they were just teenagers. Did the police honestly think that they could be capable of murder?

"You may go," the dean said offhandedly.

"Bitchy witch," Sakura said loudly as soon as the door to the office closed.

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Golf Cart**(1)**: We absolutely HATE that thing -.-;;


	3. Sophistical Reasoning

**A/N** : We really hoped that we didn't have to do this because we thought that without any pressuring, you readers would decide to review on your own. However, we guess we were wrong. We'd really appreciate it if you'd spend just a minute or two to review our story. It really isn't that hard, we'd just like some feedback, to know that our story is actually being appreciated. In fact, those of you readers who don't have an account don't even have to get one! You can sign an Anonymous review, so please do review! Anyway, we've detained you for long enough, but remember, please review!

Enjoy, **twinkle951**, **japaneserockergirl**, and **Christy XD**! (:

**Disclaimer** : Neither Arina nor Saku owns CCS or any of the characters!

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**Caesar's Consanguinity**

By Arina and Saku

**Sophistical Reasoning**

4:20 PM Police Station

"U-G-L-Y! _You_ ain't got no alibi! You, you, you UGLY!"

The police officer glared at Sakura; she'd just responded to his comment on how she and the others had no alibi for last night.

"The murder was estimated to have been done at 9:30 P.M. last night. None of you were seen anywhere."

Chiharu spoke up. "Shouldn't that be expected, officer? I mean, it was 9:30 _at night_. Where would you expect us to be?"

The police officer ignored this question. "The fact remains that no one saw any of you at the time of the murder. That means, you are all possible suspects."

"Everyone in the world could be a suspect!" Tomoyo replied. "Almost everyone was at home at that time."

"Yes, but you four all have reasons to want Mr. Ken Gates dead."

The room grew tense, and was intensified with the silence that followed the police officer's words. After a few moments, the police officer elaborated.

"Mr. Ken Gates was a close friend of your families, no? Well, of Sakura's, Tomoyo's, and Meiling's. Hadn't your families lent money to him when he was just starting out with his business?" The police officer lowered his head and looked at them over his glasses. Then, he turned to Chiharu. "And you. Mr. Ken Gates had borrowed your…er…_Yu-Gi-Oh_ card collection?"

"Damn straight he did. Oh, and it wasn't _borrowing_, he was practically _stealing_. Who in their right minds would give up their Yu-Gi-Oh collection to help some poor bastard?' Chiharu bit out with a contemptuous glare at the lanky police officer who looked as if Procrustes**(1)** had left him in his torture chamber for a tad too long.

"Well, that just proved my point. You were angry—"

"_Angry?_ More like _livid…"_

"—that he had borrowed—"

"Holy—! How many times must I repeat to you? He _stole_ my damned collection, not borrow! If he were borrowing…well, let's just say, I wouldn't have let him, anyway."

"Please, _child_, stop interrupting," the victim of Procrustes's torment spit out, literally. The four girls could _feel_ his spit shoot onto their faces.

_I'm going to need to use an entirely new bottle of cleanser tonight…_Meiling bitterly thought with revulsion. Meiling, being the rich person she is, bought only the most expensive and useful cleansers. However, a cleanser being expensive and useful doesn't necessarily save a girl from the saliva of police officer.

_Must…__**purify**__…face…Must…__**purify**__…face…_cantillated a hysterical Tomoyo. Now, Tomoyo is a girl who, no matter what she does, never gets any acne. So why go hysterical besides the fact that what is glued to her face is unsanitary? Her own _boyfriend_ hasn't kissed her enough for dribble to cover her face; after this, he probably won't even want to _touch _her face.

_Oh ew! If this is how he talks, I don't want to know what happens when he __**kisses**__. Well, actually I wouldn't really care, so long as it's not me he's kissing…_ Chiharu pondered. Chiharu is usually a rather composed person, and 'pondered' is usually used for calm thinking. So, it's natural to assume that Chiharu is being her normal, composed self, and calmly thinking. That can't be any further from the truth. Every joint that can move was convulsing she looked like she could be having the most peculiar case of paroxysmal tonic spasm.

These three at least had enough courtesy, despite their fuming tempers, to keep their comments to themselves. Sakura? Sakura just howled, ran around the table wiping her face with a random stolen police uniform, and blurted, "FUCKING CRAP! OH MY GOSH, IT BURNS, IT BURNS! IT BURNS WORSE THAN THE DEEPEST PART OF TARTARUS**(2)**! I WON'T SURVIVE TONIGHT! HELL, I SHOULD BE DEAD NOW! I'M PUSHING MY LIMIT AS IT IS! AH! I'LL DIE WITH ACNE ON MY FACE! EW, EW, EW, EW!"

"Would you _shut up_? Frankly, I really don't care about what's going to happen to your face! You can live the rest of your life as Medusa for all I care!"

"Medusa? _Medusa? MEDUSA?_ Why you little…Of course you wouldn't care! You're the ugliest thing—_man_—I've ever met! I mean…look at you!...Or just smell you…You smell like toilet cleaner! What kind of cologne is _that_? _Eu de toilette_**(3)**_?_ I don't know about you, but_ frankly,_ I think that's gross…" Sakura painfully breathed out with her mouth barely open. She couldn't bear the…unique smell and so, scrunched her nose up and covered it with one hand.

But abnormally, the officer didn't seem to mind her unappreciative antics…and took her cologne comment as a compliment. "You really think I smell like toilet cleaners? Oh, that's absolutely wonderful! And you four believed I was an officer! Ah, that's perfect! Doesn't my badge just look like a high ranking officer's? And this uniform really brings out my—"

"You mean you're NOT an officer? Then, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?" Meiling screeched with a puffed-up cherry face, squinted slit eyes, glaring up at almost a full 180 at the fraudulent official.

"He would be a _janitor_…Isn't that right, Kohaku?" rumbled a _non_-rich bass voice. "Kohaku" said nothing. He bowed his head so no one could see his reddened face, which proved a rather difficult feat considering he was so tall, all a person had to do was look up to see his embarrassed expression. Nodding slightly, Kohaku about-faced and shuffled quite loudly back to his abandoned toiletry cart, leaving behind four bewildered, but amused sophomores and his big boss, the huge asset to the local police force, literally. He was huge. It was a wonder why Procrustes had chosen to torture Kohaku over this guy.

When Big Boss had finally lumbered to where the girls sat, well, stood now, he was inhaling so deeply, it was a miracle there was any oxygen left for everyone else in the room. "You girls are in deep trouble…You had been blackmailing the late Ken Gates with porn…Russian male porn…Isn't that right?"

With their heads pulled back, mouths in disbelieving frowns, and furrowed brows, one would automatically assume the girls' replies were, "HELL NO." However, police officers are taught not to make assumptions for fear of jumping to conclusions. Reasonable…but in this situation? Ridiculous… So Tomoyo rolled her eyes and sighed in what _most_ people would assume to be exasperation and shook her head. Something Big Boss _also_ took the wrong way.

"Ah, so you're trying to use Russian to answer, eh? Thank you very much! I'm glad I took a Russian course when I was younger!" spoke Big Boss in an obstinate tone, leaving Tomoyo no chance to retort. Well, she probably could have, but she was too sweet (or annoyed) of a person to bother battering Big Boss's high pedestal, or throne, since Big Boss is too big of a boss to sit on a pedestal. Chiharu was about to take Tomoyo's place and clarify what shaking one's head means in the _U.S._ but Big Boss continued in his authoritative, blubbery voice. "I know that Ken Gates had owned a hotel in Las Vegas. However, business in Las Vegas had been rather bad as of late, and the casino revenue in Las Vegas has decreased about 30 percent overall, so many hotels have opened up branches in places like Moscow. Ken Gates had done the same. So, in hopes to expose Ken Gates as a rather hormone-driven man, you subscribed to many porn magazines, which coincidentally were all male stars. Now, you decided to send them all directly to Mr. Gates's house and—"

"Wait a minute, so he really _is_ a horny bastard?" Chiharu found a chance to interrupt Big Boss's illogical logic and did so.

"I already told you that you four had brought in those vulgar magazines!"

"Okay, now you're being even more irrational than you started out! Here, we'll list out reasons of why we _won't_ do business with Russia**(4)**! One, Russia had the nuclear arms race with the U.S. in the 1950s and 1960s."

"Two, Russia practically initiated the Cuban Missile Crisis, which nearly brought the U.S. to the brink of destruction! We don't do business with countries that nearly killed off our existence."

"Three, if we wanted porn, why not use the internet, where porn is big and free for everyone? We're _broke_ here!"

"Something we probably wouldn't be, had Gates not conned us or stolen Chiharu's cards…Not that I know how much those cards were worth…" Tomoyo, Meiling, Chiharu, and Sakura argued respectively. Just looking at the girls' facial expressions would force even the most unfounded person to back down from the dispute, which is what Big Boss did.

Sighing, Big Boss bobbed his head up and down, causing the excess fat in his double chin to jiggle a little. The girls tried not to wince. Big Boss began speaking, but extremely slowly that it could probably qualify as Whale Language**(5)**, "Okay, I can see I won't be winning this little quarrel—"

"No, really?" Sakura muttered before being jabbed in the waist by Meiling's elbow.

"—but I will have to let you out with a warning—"

All four girls abruptly let out yelps of protest, waving their arms around and nearly slapping each other because of their close proximity. Big Boss held up a Mickey Mouse-sized hand, and they stopped chattering. Big Boss thought it was due to his authority; they knew it was because they were too busy staring at the bulky hand.

"It's either I let you off with a warning, or you stay in jail for a day while taking our juvenile teenager course, which teaches you about what can happen to you when you go to juvenile hall."

None of the girls were happy, but who would want to waste a day in jail for something they obviously didn't do? So, warning it was! "Well, it was nice talking to you, Big Boss—er…Chief! Bye!" Sakura corrected herself quickly and ran out of the station before Big Boss noticed her mistake. Not wanting to hang around the police station, Kohaku, nor Big Boss, especially to see his reaction to Sakura's awkward mistake, Tomoyo, Meiling, and Chiharu stumbled out of the room hastily, nearly slipping on the freshly mopped floor, courtesy of Kohaku.

"Big…Boss? Er…Ahem, Hiki**(6)**, make sure to keep an eye on these four…" Big Boss burbled absentmindedly, too busy musing over the possible reasons of Sakura's blunder.

* * *

Procrustes**(1)**: an innkeeper who tortured people by either stretching them or chopping off their limbs to make them fit his beds.

Tartarus**(2)** : the lowest region of the world, as far below earth as earth is from heaven.

_toilette_**(3) **: Pun...intended?

Reasons of why we _won't_ do business with Russia**(4)** : Sorry if any readers are Russian! We mean no offense whatsoever! We just needed to find some random reasons! Arina actually has a friend who's Russian, so we're not holding grudges at all!

Whale Language**(5)** : For people who have watched "Finding Nemo," remember Dory speaking Whale? (:

Hiki**(6) **: Toad


End file.
